An Amazing Blog with a Profound Title

Dear Reader,

After enthusiastically following the Twilight craze and reading all four books in the series, my interest suffered a violent death upon the release of the first movie.

What stumps me is who cast Robert Pattinson? I found him, his overacting, and his interpretation of Edward's character repelling. For example, in the biology lab scene, Edward is supposed to exhibit more subtle anxiety. In the movie, however, he instead suffocates himself by covering his mouth with his hand, as if Bella has an extreme case of B.O... or maybe he's just catching a whiff of his own hair, which he himself states he never washes!

And not that I dislike British accents, but I think that he should at least try to keep it from slipping into his voice, when he's playing a character with an American accent.

To add to that, I think the makeup artist took the pale, pale skin thing way too far, considering Edward has ten times the makeup as Bella, and Carlisle looks like a Barbie doll with his hair slicked back.

And what gives me the most pain out of all is Allison. She looked wonderful on the poster and was an important character in the book, but when you hear her say the only lines she has in the entire movie, it's agony! Perhaps they meant to have her oversized nostrils take your attention away from her bad acting. Also, Emmet is just strange looking, and Rosalie could stand to lose a couple pounds, both far from the images of perfection they were in the book.

The overacted awkwardness between Pattinson and Stewart, rather than being sexy, was downright painful. Bella could have been a little more animated, and considering she did read the books (unlike Robert Pattinson, who said he has never read them), there's no excuse. I have nothing bad to say about Esmie, other than that she looks like she's in her mid-fifties. My mom even looks younger than she does... *sigh.*

The music was extremely cheesy... I could've heard it in an elevator. The only thing about the movie that sparkled besides Edward's skin were the over-whitened teeth of all the actors, since everything else was blue.

No offense to the screenwriter, but... I could have written a better screenplay. The only bright spot is the resulting YouTube spoofs, which are extremely entertaining.

Sincerely,
Peaches